Create a Calming Zone at Home to Support Your Child's Emotional Development

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Child calmly reading in tent

Babies, toddlers, and preschool aged children experience one of the biggest bursts of brain growth in their lives (the other big burst is during adolescence). Their young nervous systems are primed for growth and each and every experience they have influences that growth. From learning to move their bodies, taking in multi-sensory stimulation, responding that sensory stimulation, learning to communicate, and creating attachments and relationships with the people and the world around them, we can provide them with developmentally appropriate experiences that support their healthy physical, mental, and social-emotional skills.

How do children "feel" emotions?

Young children go through normal developmental processes that come with big emotions. As emotions begin to develop, they can create many different feelings within the physical body (have you ever experienced a "jump scare"?), which influences a child's behavior and reactions (think fight, flight, or freeze responses) to different situations, people, and all those big feelings inside their little bodies.

Shy smile!

What can a calming zone provide?

A "calming zone" at home is meant to be a quiet, calm, and safe space for children (and adults, too!) to go help them learn to calm down or even just spend time in healthy, positive solitude by their own choice. A calming zone can be used when feeling both positive and negative emotions, and they are a great tool for parents to proactively and intentionally teach children about emotions. Adults can proactively teach children by modeling their own emotions and engaging in strategies to handle those emotions in a healthy way.

Children learn by watching the behaviors of those around them. So, when we can model emotions and our reactions to them, as well as the strategies we need to feel calm and comfortable or to manage difficult feelings, our kids eventually learn to do the same for themselves as they get older.

How do I create a calming zone in my home?

Creating a cozy, calm space in your home can be simple and doesn't need to be anything extravagant. Kids love small spaces and you can have a cozy space in your general family area, but creating a small space in the child's bedroom is also a nice idea. All your space needs is some visuals, a few soft items, some small toys or fidgets that provide calming sensory input, and some books! Soft lighting or natural lighting is also recommended.

What role do adults play in supporting their children's emotional regulation?

Mother & daughter love

Calm & cozy time is a great way to share valuable togetherness with your child. When kids and parents are participating in shared relaxation, kids learn to associate this time with warm feelings and connectedness to you. Likewise, a shared cozy space can promote well-being for tired or stressed parents after a long work day or other challenges. When use of the cozy corner becomes part of your daily life, your child will be more able to use it during moments of distress. When kids learn healthy ways to manage big emotions, they develop resilience. Resilience will carry them through life and help them be able to "bounce back" from all the highs and lows.

One important thing about calm zones and teaching kids about emotional regulation is for kids to understand that all emotions are okay - they are part of being human. Cozy zones can be used for children to learn to calm themselves, but with adult support. It is not recommended that a cozy zone be used as punishment areas for children, as this takes away from the productive opportunities for them to co-regulate with a trusted adult and sets up a negative association with learning to handle negative emotions.

Where should I place a calming zone at home?

Place your calming zone in a non-busy area of your home or particular room. A corner works nicely because it provides a natural boundary on two sides. While a tent or enclosed space isn't necessary, some people like to use them for more privacy and to really feel enclosed, which can reduce visual distractions and provide extra calming comfort for kids.

Here are some of my favorite items for a creating a calm & cozy zone at home!

Warmies Platypus Heated Stuffed Animal Plushie for Warmth & Comfort: This fun animal friend is cute, flat, weighted, & able to be warmed up in the microwave. Warmth is calming to muscles and the nervous system overall. Weighted items provide proprioceptive sensory input to the body which has a calming effect. The soft surface provides calming tactile (touch) input to the skin. Due to the flat nature of this adorable platypus, he makes a great companion for kids to not only cuddle with, but to place on their bellies and practice deep belly breathing, as they can watch him move up and down as their bellies breathe "in and out". Other animals are available- let your child choose!

Calm Down Time Board Book for Toddlers & Young Children: A short, colorful, and comprehensive book of getting to know your emotions for young children, as well as how to handle those emotions. A great first book to help young children become empowered through learning about themselves.

When I Am/Cuando Estoy Board Book: This book, which can be read in English or Spanish, is a colorful way to help your child learn about all kinds of feelings, including healthy ways to handle those difficult feelings.

In My Heart: A Book of Feelings (Growing Hearts): This beautifully illustrated book is one of my favorites - it explores a range of emotions and how they make our bodies feel inside, along with ways to manage those emotions. Kids love this book!

Breathing Pal "Ollie" Mindfulness & Guided Deep Breathing Light: There is strong scientific evidence behind the power of deep breathing and nervous system regulation. Deep breathing can help to make us feel grounded and can also calm our brains when under stress. This breathing pal changes colors to guide your deep breathing by knowing when to inhale, hold breath, and exhale for effective results. A great tool for kids and adults!

3 in 1 Kids Bean Bag Chair Bed/Floor Mat: Large enough for shared space, flexible, soft, and portable, this cozy item comes in multiple colors.

Sensory Fidget Stones: These little "stones" are designed to provide a variety of tactile input for little hands and fingers. Tactile sensory input can help to calm the nervous system as part of a calming or relaxation routine. For children who seek out things to touch, these sensory fidget stones are a wonderful addition to any calming and relaxation space.

Visual Sensory Fidget Tubes for Kids (4-pack): Calming visual input goes a long way to support relaxation. This set of sensory fidget tubes provides a variety of attractive "movement" for the visual system. By watching beads, sparkles, and more move smoothly through liquid, a calming effect can be achieved. These tubes are also great to use as "timers" that can help kids engage in emotional regulation strategies for a set period of time (for example, a few rounds of deep breathing in order to achieve that calming effect n the body).

Small Woven Rope Storage Baskets (Set of 3): This set of soft baskets is perfect for a calming space, and offers just a enough storage for a few books, fidget tools, and soft plushies.

Sensory Tent for Kids Bundle with Fiberoptic Lamp & Glow in the Dark Blanket: This portable tent provides a dark, calm space and comes with a fiberoptic light and a blanket. It's a great starter pack for a quick and portable relaxation space!

Have fun creating your home calming space and create it in conjunction with your child- they will feel empowered by it and be invested because they played a part in putting it together with you. This shared experience will help the whole family to support each other's emotional development and regulation, no matter what the age!

Classrooms are another great space for use of a calming zone - stay tuned for a future post geared specifically towards teachers education support professionals!